If I based my vote purely on the leaflets…

If I based my vote purely on the leaflets…

After endless months of talking about it, Polling Day in the UK’s 2015 General Election is finally here. Phew.

Even if you avoid the “news”, you can’t escape the election. My constituency appears to be a tightly fought three-way battle and the common strategy to gain my vote seems to involve carpet bombing my letterbox with propaganda.

If I didn’t leave the house, and viewed the world solely by leaflet, it would be a very confusing place…

Three rival parties tell me they’re winning here. At least two of them must be wrong, surely?

According to one of the contenders, the other two chaps in the race are evil, dastardly folk who I should outright despise without even a “good afternoon” of verification. Yet one of the two attacked claims to be “the best MP we’ve ever had”, which seems mildly contradictory. Although the other suggests I should “be brave” so perhaps that one is planning to be dastardly after all?

Judging by the postal paraphernalia, the NHS must be the single most important thing around here. All three claim to be its sole saviour. It’s stated as fact that the other two candidates, in each case, will rob the NHS blind so may the good Lord protect you should you vote for one of them and then get ill.

Crikey, what do I do? Sounds pretty crucial I get that one right at the polling booth.

Each candidate also makes countless claims, at a hyper-local and international level, that they can’t actually achieve or even promise without the cooperation of quite a lot of others based around the planet. Yet somehow they’re printed as virtual guarantees without any proof they’ve got that cooperation agreed. Is that impressive confidence or cavalier foolhardiness? Hard to tell.

Interestingly, not one party has knocked the door to ask for my views or support face-to-face this year. This is a shame, especially if things are close. Apparently I can only be communicated with by newsletter. Try as I might, the newsletters just won’t engage in conversation with me.

I wonder how many sheets of campaign literature have landed on the doormat in the last couple of months. A conservative (small “c”) estimate: 200 perhaps? There must be, what, a good 20,000 homes in the area? 200 x 20,000 = 4,000,000 leaflets. Yikes…

Note to self, two connected business opportunities to plan before 2020:

1) Election leaflet printing

2) Election leaflet recycling

P.S. If you’re reading this on May 7th, please go and vote. Even if you hate them all and just draw a rude picture on the ballot paper, don’t stay at home and moan!

RESEARCH QUESTION: What confuses you about the election game?

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