Notes from a small island

Notes from a small island

Life, they say, is stranger than art.

I carry a little notebook around with me sometimes. The idea is to jot down little snippets of thought based on something seen or heard in the hope that they might, one day, be of use. Today, I reviewed the notebook. Apparently people’s lives are way more entertaining than I realised. Here are a few of the entries:

Pathologically scared of the world’s tiniest fly.

“Yeah but I swam a length underwater of a twenty seven metre pool.”

Maybe you should befriend a greenkeeper.

A talking acorn escapes to the city for a life in coffee shops.

Detailed menu description from a trip to Hull, around a deathbed.

People who ask a question but don’t listen to the response (e.g. “do you want a bag for that?” “no thanks” *gets bag*).

Park it like you stole it, mate.

Kids lying on Ikea floor screaming. I feel the same.

A huge man with a very tiny dog.

People who seem to think the importance of their jobs rivals the UN Secretary General.

Three old ladies on the top deck of a packed seaside bus, fretting over whether their friends, Pat & Doreen, will be able to fit on at their stop.
Lady 1: “Let’s hope and pray the bus stops. Hope and pray.”
Lady 1: “So you think it’s the next one?” (no stops have yet been passed – it’s a traffic jam)
Lady 1: “The next one?” (still in the jam)
Lady 1: “Is it the next one?” (Still in jam. Then it clears)
Lady 2: “THERE THEY ARE!!!” (stands and points)
Lady 2:THAT’S THEM!!!

In a card shop.
Toddler: “I want that one. With the piggy.” (repeatedly, pointing at birthday card in shop. On verge of meltdown)
Mum: describes new card, that she wants to buy, with hamster on it. There is a pause.
Toddler: (snatches new card, giggles) “I want that one!” (crisis averted)

A good day is… buying a Pepsi Max and then realising it’s actually a Cherry Pepsi Max.

Jesus in a suburban park, practising party tricks.

I think I’ll stop paying for the cinema and just spend two hours with some popcorn sitting on the street instead.

RESEARCH QUESTION: Do you have any random snippets of your own to add?

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